WISTERIA CO-OP

A space for us to engage the end of life.

What We Believe

Wisteria Co-op exists to support people at the end of life—with presence, care, and shared labor. We believe death is sacred. We believe no one should go through it alone. And we believe the work of tending to death includes families, logistics, paperwork, grief, and love.

We believe anyone can be part of this work. Whether through storytelling, practical help, ritual, or simply being present, everyone brings something valuable. Curiosity helps us hold fear, and sometimes transforms it into something beautiful. There is no single way to become a doula. There is no single way to die.

Our aim is to meet people where they are. This could mean sitting quietly beside someone who is dying, helping a family make sense of a cluttered kitchen table, making a phone call to a ocrematory, or just opening a window when the air feels heavy.

We value stillness, curiosity, and service. We ask open-ended questions, and we’re willing to be changed by what we hear.

How We’re Organized

We are a mutual aid collective. We are not a business or a credentialing program. We’re not trying to replace hospice or professional home care. We are a group of people who come together with a shared purpose and a commitment to presence.

We learn from each other—sometimes as peers, sometimes as mentors, sometimes as companions. We make decisions together, move slowly, and try to leave room for everyone to be seen and heard.

There are many ways to participate: some more formal, others more fluid. Members offer time and energy when they can, and rest when they need to. Everyone contributes in their own way, and together we adapt to what each moment requires.

How We Learn

Learning happens informally and in community. It happens during moments of silence. It happens on porches and in kitchens, in difficult conversations and unexpected gestures of care.

Some of us have trained as death doulas. Some have experience in nursing, therapy, or hospice. Others come to our co-op because someone they love is dying. Some are preparing for their own death. Some come because they want to be close to the mystery.

We shadow each other in service. We gather in small groups to reflect, debrief, and share stories. We keep notes. We try things. We make mistakes and learn from them.

We also collect rituals and practices—some personal, some passed down, some new. These become part of our shared toolkit.

As we learn, we share what we know with families who are overwhelmed or unsure how to help. We help others find the words and the rhythms that make this work possible.

Compensation and Sustainability

We believe death work is real labor, and that it should be honored—and, when possible, compensated.

Some of us serve on a volunteer basis. Others are paid through a sliding scale arranged with clients ahead of time. Doulas usually keep 70–80% of what’s received; the rest helps sustain the co-op.

Membership dues cover basic needs—snacks, gatherings, outreach. They also cover the cost of required background checks. All doulas in the co-op carry liability insurance.

Because most death doula work isn’t covered by insurance, we operate independently. This gives us room to act creatively and with integrity. We often help families reduce costs by showing them different options.

We hold ourselves to clear, ethical, and adaptable standards. We build trust through time and care. And we keep learning.

What We Offer

Our members support many aspects of dying. Some offer full-spectrum doula services—helping the dying directly, preparing vigil plans, or holding space during the final days. Others focus on families—handling logistics, making phone calls, or offering grief support. Some specialize in silence. Some create ceremony. Some know how to clean out a freezer.

When someone reaches out, we try to match their need with the right person. Sometimes that’s one member. Sometimes it’s a small team. Sometimes someone just needs to be heard.

Presence is our central offering. We approach it as a practice, not a product. We take the work seriously, but we try to carry it with lightness where we can.

Joining the Co-op

Membership is open to anyone who feels called to this work. There’s no specific background required—just a sincere interest and a willingness to witness and grow.

Some people join because they want to serve others. Some are preparing for their own death. Some walk alongside someone they love. Others join to ask questions and listen for answers.

New members usually begin by shadowing, listening, and serving. Over time, everyone finds their own rhythm and their place within the co-op.

We support each other. We challenge each other. And we make space to begin again, as many times as needed.

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Closing Thoughts

We sit beside death. We don’t try to fix it or control it. We listen.

Death waits quietly, watching how we show up. It smiles when someone rearranges the hospice bed near a window. It shares a cookie with the tired daughter who forgot to eat. It plays with the baby who doesn’t know to be afraid.

When the questions come, death leans in. Not to answer. Just to hear more clearly.

So instead of final words, we leave you with a small gesture:

A glance toward the threshold. A warm breath. A soft question—

“Will you sit with me awhile?”